Like millions of other fans in the WWE Universe, I was tuned in from 7pm to 11pm last night viewing the annual star-studded Wrestlemania spectacular. They advertise it as the granddaddy of them all, the biggest event of the year, even bigger than the Super Bowl according to one Vincent Kennedy McMahon...but somehow, it failed to live up to the hype. In fact, it fell very, very far short.
So what happened? Where did they go wrong? Hmm...where do I even begin?
I guess we can start with Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson, who served as the special guest host. No doubt the WWE Universe was thrilled when this was announced, as evidenced by the thunderous ovation he received in his return to Monday Night Raw. I had my fears that he would be underused for this event, leaving devout WWE fans everywhere extremely disappointed. Unfortunately, that is exactly what happened.
As expected, he strutted down to the ring to kick things off and gave one of his usual "electrifying" monologues. That was fine. But the backstage segments where they featured him throughout the night were ridiculous. Mae Young pinching his butt? Come on. Pee-Wee Herman? Please. The only interesting part was when he came face-to-face with Stone Cold Steve Austin. But that lasted all of one minute. He did play a role in the night's final match, but I'll address that later when I get to the main event.
I was very disappointed that we did not get to see the Daniel Bryan vs. Sheamus match, which had been previously advertised. Apparently, some numbskull felt it would be better served as a dark match. Then they revised the format and made these two up and coming stars part of an impromptu 22-man battle royal instead. Are you kidding me?
When will the creative team get it when it comes to Daniel Bryan? The fans love him. I know that he's undersized, but when he was fired last year for breaking the "Benoit rule," the crowds clamored for his return. His technical skills and overall offensive ability make him fun to watch, and not allowing that match to go on as scheduled was a disservice to him and to the fans.
Ditto for Sheamus. He had a fabulous 2009, and deservedly so. A two-time champion who garnered the praise of HHH for his work ethic, Sheamus showed us that he has the combination of in-ring ability and mic skills to go far in this business. But someone on Raw's creative team has suddenly turned against him, and his character has been buried over the past few months. Whoever that person is, he needs to get a clue and start pushing Sheamus again, as he was beginning to establish himself as one of the top heels in WWE.
I was surprised to see the World Heavyweight Championship match start things off, though I understand why they did it. But what surprised me even more was that Alberto Del Rio did not go over. Can someone in WWE creative please explain why they have pushed this guy so hard for so long, even crowning him as winner of this year's Royal Rumble, only to lose and get his Rolls Royce destroyed at Wrestlemania? Edge has been talking retirement for some time now, so this was a great opportunity to use him and put Del Rio over. But they blew it.
The eight-man tag team match was an utter travesty. First off, they buried their Intercontinental Champion and Tag Team Champs by having the Corre suffer a quick defeat. While I am not a huge fan of Gabriel and Slater, I think WWE is really missing the boat with Wade Barrett. This guy has it, and he deserves a big push. To take him out of Nexus and put him back in another group where he isn't even the leader makes absolutely no sense. He should have been allowed out on his own, and I think he would have done a nice job at Wrestlemania if they had him feud with one of the established babyfaces.
This match was so poor that it left me asking, "How did Big Show and Kane feel about being featured in this turkey?" Well, here is my hypothesis on how the conservation went as the two of them walked down the entrance ramp together:
Big Show: Can you believe that after all our years of service to this company, they're putting us in this atrocity of a match at Wrestlemania?
Kane: I know. It sucks, doesn't it? At least they're only giving it two minutes.
Big Show: Thank God. I don't want to be in there any longer than I have to. Let's just get it over with and then make a beeline for the locker room.
Kane: Agreed. Then maybe you and I can have a sit-down with the boss this week to straighten things out.
I'm not exaggerating. That match really lasted all of two minutes. Crazy.
Speaking of wasting talent, what the hell were they thinking when they put John Morrison in the match with Snooki? Huh? Morrison is arguably the most athletic guy in WWE. He's in the best shape, as evidenced by his incredible abs, and he uses parkour to train himself for the aerial maneuvers he performs on a regular basis. I had predicted last year that he would be the winner of this year's Money in the Bank ladder match.
But of course that didn't happen, since WWE decided not to have the annual MITB competition. I guess they felt that his talents would be utilized more efficiently in this ludicrous spectacle, where he chased Dolph Ziggler from the ring after he interfered with little miss "Jersey Shore." Unreal.
Then to have Snooki pin Michelle McCool for the win? Are you serious? Anyone reading this might think I'm pulling a belated April Fool's prank, but sadly that is not the case. Yes, it's true. Snooki now has more victories at Wrestlemania than Jerry "The King" Lawler (I'll get to that in a minute). What a smack in the face to the Divas. Those ladies work hard all year to get a chance to show their skills at Wrestlemania. Yet most of them were not used, including the champion herself, Eve, and the two that were wound up losing to a pint-sized loudmouth from a trashy reality show.
I have to give Michael Cole credit, because he has done an excellent job over the past year of establishing his heel persona. WWE did an excellent job building it up, and somehow we all knew it was going to culminate in a massive beatdown at the hands of Jerry Lawler at Wrestlemania. Well, I guess that sort of happened, but not quite. Another young grappler, Jack Swagger, was totally wasted by being cast as Cole's trainer. I know that Swagger's lisp made it difficult to get him over, but the guy has impressive technical skills, as evidenced by his illustrious career at the University of Oklahoma. He deserved better.
I accurately predicted that Austin would give Swagger the Stunner, and it was great to see Cole tapping non-stop while trapped in Lawler's ankle lock as Stone Cold repeatedly asked if he was giving up. But what followed left me somewhat stupefied. First, why did Booker T get stunned by Austin after joining the post-match celebration? I wasn't feeling that. Then the GM reverses the decision, awards the victory to Cole, and poor Josh Matthews, who merely read the GM's email, gets stunned himself. What was that all about?
Everyone anticipated that Undertaker-HHH would be the best match of the night, and it was. But unfortunately, that isn't saying much, is it? Their age showed in the ring, as they basically slogged their way through the match. There was no flow, and though they tried a few daring stunts, in the end the match paled in comparison to those between Taker and HBK over the past two years. The finish was poor, and I can't possibly believe that it was scripted that way. There must have been a legitimate injury that forced one of the two to call an audible, though as of this moment nothing has been revealed. It looked as if HHH might have injured his left shoulder by the way his left arm was dangling, but who knows.
They really oversold the effect that the match had on both of them, and I was growing weary while watching them limp, stumble, fall, etc. as they left the ring. Finally, when it was somehow determined that the Undertaker would need assistance, I started yelling, "Get him out of there already!" It was a total waste of 5-10 minutes, all of which could have been applied toward another match.
Before I get to the main event, I'll quickly state that Orton-Punk and Rhodes-Mysterio were decent matches. Punk-Orton was the second best match of the night, and it ended just as I thought it would. But I hope they reunite CM Punk with the Nexus, because he is perfect in that role. As leader of the Nexus, he firmly entrenched himself as the number one heel in all of WWE.
I'm glad that at least one young guy got put over, as Rhodes earned the victory over Rey. Granted, he had to do it by using his knee brace, but a win is a win I suppose. Hopefully they'll continue to build him up.
Finally, the main event was a major disappointment. Throughout the entire night, we could gauge, even from the comfort of our living rooms, that the crowd reaction was somewhat less than exuberant. But the Cena-Miz match was the epitome of this fact, as I only noticed one drunken fan in the front row who was actually into it. I had correctly predicted that Rock would cost Cena the match by interfering, which he ultimately did after a double count-out and an ignored announcement from the anonymous GM. But the way it went down was shoddy, and it certainly doesn't help Miz. Once again, he won with outside help, leaving his credibility as champion very much in question.
So what happens now? A Cena-Rock feud? It sure seems that way, doesn't it? We'll see what happens on Raw tonight.
I guess the main point of this blog post is that WWE creative needs to get their butts in gear. If I were the CEO of the company, I'd have fired every one of them after last night's debacle. So much talent went unused, so many of the young guys got buried rather than put over, and even the way they utilized celebrities like Snoop Dogg was misguided and pretty much way off the mark. Wrestlemania XXVII will not go down as one of the better ones. In fact, it will probably go down as one of the worst. As a WWE fan for over 30 years, I don't anticipate losing my interest any time soon. But yesterday was a major step in the wrong direction, and if they don't correct it, then they'll be sure to suffer the consequences.
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